


The Nep Before Christmas

by SexualPsychE



Category: Hyperdimension Neptunia
Genre: Blow Jobs, Christmas Eve, Christmas Smut, Creampie, Eating, Embarrassment, F/M, Feels, Fluff and Smut, French Kissing, Happy Ending, Lemon, Licking, Loss of Virginity, Romance, Smut, Snowed In, Some Plot, Vaginal Sex, Vanilla
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-10-04 22:23:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17312936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SexualPsychE/pseuds/SexualPsychE
Summary: We meet our goddesses enjoying a Christmas vacation to get away from it all; As of now, it's Christmas Eve. A blizzard is restricting any of them for leaving, so they simply deal with it as they had no plans to leave the new seaside mansion anyway. However, once everyone else goes to sleep after they've had their fill of food, all that's left is our boy Drake, and Neptune still playing videogames. What finesse could unfold between them? Something else will be unfolding, lemme tell you that much.





	1. The Buns

**Author's Note:**

> Note - This story takes place in the Megadimension. The Neptune that is in this book refers to the Adult Neptune, as this piece takes place in Megadimension. However, this Neptune also happens to be able to transform as well, making her a mix of the canon two. Buuuut the normal Neptune also exists, she’s just not present in the story, and she can transform like normal as well, which I know is a bit confusing but It’ll get sorted out later. To make it visually simpler, I’d say that Adult Nep, for our purposes, transforms into Megadimension Purple Heart while Neptune is with the OG Purple Heart, but her casual clothes are from Megadimension since I liked the look of those better. All these alterations are according to my preferences, as I reaaally like bigger Nep, but I also really like Purple Heart, so I had to do it to em. Thanks for probably not minding. Also please do not mind my not very laconic writing, or inaccuracies in the dimension specifics or how stuff works since it’s been like a year since I’ve played anything Neptunia.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my name is Morgan Freeman and I will be narrating for us today... I wish. This chapter is just to build up where we are, what we are, when we are, and why. Also, it's to introduce this random OC dude I made up because as far as I know, The Hyper Mega Ultra series and their side games got like no men other than a fish and this ninja guy if I remember correctly?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme just add this: I finished writing all these chapters throughout the second half of November and then throughout December, and I wanted a platform to post it on; so here we are. I couldn't find anywhere except this lovely site on January, so the date you see this published is when it was actually done by, Christmas 2018.

**Chapter 1:** _The Buns_  
“I’m Dirty Dan” - Pinhead Larry

* * *

 

Twas the night before Christmas, and our hero was setting the table for dinner. He was a fine lad, a man if anything, and he most certainly exists. He works as an executive advisor, both the head of defense and state for Lastation as chosen by Black Heart herself, and semi-butler as well since he simultaneously cares for his CPU while fulfilling his roles. We know not where he comes from, or how he comes from, as he doesn’t like to mention, but for our purposes, this absolute legend of a man’s name was **Drake**. Imagine him as the rapper, the adventurer, the faceless protagonist- it matters not unless you picture him as a fat, sweaty, unhygienic and uncultured bimbo. For my sake, please don’t.

To drive you away from such crimes, and if you insist on some sort of reference to go off of other than your free imagination, imagine Black Heart _but a guy_ : magnificent cyan eyes (without the power button), frost white, silky, fluffy hair in whatever style you’d like, and the male counterpart of a body to probably die for. Just subtract the no-friends and tsundere aspect and we’re good. Actually, the personalities differ a decent bit more than that, so we aren’t completely good.

This of course goes not to say that he was a bad guy, for he was a good guy by societal standards- a very good guy. He was one to hold on to trash until he found a recycling bin, and one to help slow grandmas across the streets which he helped rid of crime. He was not a dumb guy either, most of the time, (which isn’t saying much these days) as he would effectively plan and execute his plans and executions. However, something happened during a fateful blizzard this very day that we are about to pan and zoom in on that he could not have planned for in a million years, nor was he qualified to do at all.

We pan and zoom in on the Planeptune mansion on the coast of the white beaches, at a lovely time of night with an even lovelier night-time sky that was a faded, sleepy white due to the pending blizzard. Apparently the State of Planeptune made a mansion due to _surprising_ excess amounts of share energy that Neptune invested into the construction of a vacation home away from the city: a large, bright but not too bright white, exotic, yet modern building with ivy and vines tickling the walls that weren't glass-an efficient a use as ever for surplus funds. It was dejecting to the common man yet humbling, and a lovely place to spend a storm. 

The beaches it overlooked had finely grained white sand, albeit the building itself was on a sheltered cliff with a mix of deciduous jungle making a peninsula of the building with the front facing the pure sand which itself was a front from the sea. Today there was a much frostier and fluffy white piling on the piles of sand; the large glass walls on the South side of the manor were getting foggy and thrashed with snow.

Winter was coming in a violent manner, yet the residents of this mansion welcomed the white Christmas with open arms, regardless of the fact that none of them could leave anymore due to the blizzard conditions. They probably couldn’t leave the next morning either, as this was a week long show. Snow flood warnings were apparent, as about two Shaqs worth of snow was about to cumulatively pile up over the Planeptune region.

Fortunately, being so close to the water allowed the region to be pleasantly cold instead of having a state of frostbite gnawing on your nerves until you may as well not have any hands. This was the middle porridge type of air: not freezing but not warm. The snow itself was obviously freezing though, so of course the residents refused to walk in such aggressive, knee-high fields of cotton.

* * *

“Boy do I love the smell of this air, It would be almost as orgasmic as the smell of rain if my nose didn’t freeze over immediately,” said Drake.  
“Well I love the smell of this food more! I never knew you were such a good chef,” exclaimed Neptune, chowing down on some gourmet chocolate-cinnamon pudding spread on crunchy hazelnut bread sticks while Drake was staring out the equivalent of a window on the window, as this particular wall was made of thick glass.  
“Well of course I am good at cooking, I must be in order to feed the mistress! Some street vendor shall not serve Lady Black Heart his peasant trash on my watch, so to replace the royal cook position, I have taken it upon myself to become a world class chef.”  
“That seems over the top if you ask me,” inputted Blanc, who regardless of her comment began stuffing her face.  
“It is over the top! As much as I trust you like everyone else in this room, it has gotten to the point where I’m becoming a spoiled CPU if one were to ever exist under your watch! You have helped me for almost a year, yet only recently you have begun to put the extra effort in on your extra effort, when all you have to do is be an advisor…” Noire pouted at Drake, who responded with “that is because I have realized there is no use for an advisor or head of anything in a peaceful and prospering country, so all that is left for me to do is make sure that your life is just as peaceful and prosperous.”  
“Whaaat? I don’t think you realize how lucky you are Nowaru! All I get is Histy nagging me to run the country or something along those lines. Don’t we already have like three other CPUs of Planeptune to do that?”  
“Oh yea, where is littler Neptune, and Plutia?”  
“They were both sleeping when it was time for us to arrive, so Histy just told me to ditch ‘em.”  
“It really feels nice to get away from Rom and Ram for once, even for a little,” Blanc inputted, eating a muffin.  
“Uni too; she’s great and all but kinda clingy if you ask me,” Noire inputted, eating a muffin.  
“I guess I could do without the other Nep or Plutia every now and then, but I wish that Nepgear and IF and Compa and Peashy could’ve come! This is _our_ mansion after all!” Neptune inputted, eating a muffin.  
“Sucks to suck I suppose; if I managed to show up then anyone could have,” Drake inputted, sipping coke.  
“Too late to bring them now, although I’m upset that you didn’t. At least you should have brought Nepgear. In fact, why didn’t you?” Vert inputted, eating a muffin.  
“Huh? Oh waaait… why didn’t I bring them?”

The motley crew of ladies and a gentleman ate a dangerous amount of food comparable to the slightly less dangerous amount of alcohol that was ingested, or not ingested to some degree as their poor livers do not have long to live at this rate. Four of them, being higher level beings, took on such a buffet to satiate their appetite, as well as enough psychoactive ingredients to effectively challenge their medulla to a duel. Luckily enough, the brainy brawler won this duel for everyone but Nep, who fell over just as much as the Jenga™ pieces during their little game night. The group voted on playing video games instead, something they were all familiar with, after harsh debate on which console to play on.

“What the goodness are you doing, Neptune?” asked Vert.  
“Destroying you and your oversized breasts at Smash, peasant!” exclaimed the playfully buzzed Neptune who had lovely breasts of her own, while Blanc looked on slightly agitated as if she stole her line.  
“See, isn’t Lowee technology superior? This game is one of our newer ones, and luckily for you guys, you can play it early,” she said haughtily.  
“The only thing Lowee is good for is games for a group, and that’s about it. The rest is child’s play- literally,” said Noire with confidence. “I agree,” agreed Vert.  
“Whatever man! I suddenly feel sleepy, so I’m going to go pick the first room upstairs I see and fall right in, so don’t come complaining to me when you get one of the trash rooms!” said Blanc with a heightened voice and a distraught face, as she paced out of the living room.  
“Oh my, I do suppose it is getting quite late,” said Vert, glancing at the Gucci clock above the Gucci 101 inch curved TV.  
“How did I lose to Neptune!” yelled Noire, ignoring Vert’s remark. “It has to be the dumb TV, I’m not used to its curvature, it’s messing up my flow!”

“I’ve seen this raw strength only once before,” started Drake. “I brought this one new recruit to the pub one day after a hard day’s work of training; the guy was still booty at unarmed combat though. He took one swig, and was out, not unconscious, but drunk beyond drunk. He started a fight with this one tough lookin bozo and this time he clocked that man straight in the jaw and did three elbow drops before he tapped out immediately. The kid couldn’t even fight two five year olds before, yet here he was. I think Neptune is like that new recruit”

“What, a failure?” remarked Noire heartlessly about one of her future soldiers, and Neptune at the same time.  
“What, No! Well, maybe in the state she’s in right now, but I meant that she gains more power when drunk.”  
“Well whatever, I’m off to bed as well. Are you coming?”  
“To your bed, Milady?! I thought the day I got a promotion of this caliber would never come!” said Drake with visible excitement as his posture went from sitting to athletic stance real quick.  
“N-No! You know what I meant!” screamed Noire, her blush going from zero to a hundred just as quick.  
“I’m leaving and I’m going to make sure to lock the door, you… indecent person!” she stormed out of the room and went upstairs.  
“ _Noice_ ,” said Drake to himself.  
“What a show,” said Vert smiling, “I think I will go in your place~” she said smiling even more as she followed Noire up the spiral stairs from a distance.  
“ _Noice_ ,” said Drake to himself.

* * *


	2. The Lettuce and Cheese

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, congratulations! You've reached the rising action! Nothing too frisky yet, except near the end. The next chapters are all explicit so prepare thyselves.

**Chapter 2** : _The Lettuce and Cheese_  
“Owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on”

* * *

 

Drake was then alone with a still buzzed Neptune playing video games by herself at this point, as he decided to go whip out the presents he prepared for tomorrow. It was 10 P.M. , and while everyone else drank the fine assortment of wines and whiskies an hour or two back, he, being a man of culture, managed to chug a cumulative four and a half metric liters of Coca Cola ™. This amount of glucose was nothing for a man at the top of the elite military and in the primal stage of his life; he would burn it off in his morning warm-ups if not during his nightly cool downs; all that’s left would be the chemicals his body has more than gotten used to due to his minor Coca Cola ™ addiction.

As he was taking out and carefully placing these presents that he has thought out a month prior based on his close observations of each CPU, Neptune was wandering around the living room. She came upon a box, looked inside and stared for a few seconds. She began to walk away until she abruptly stopped, and went back to the box to pick it up with a mischievous smile as she silently ran out of the room towards the stairwell out of view.

Speaking of which, the inside of the house was just as lovely as the outside. It went with a friendly, light color scheme of teal, white, black, and grey. The living room was huge, with the entire south side of it being made of glass and facing the sea, and the other sides clockwise from south were the entrance, two openings to the kitchen on either side of the wall, and the opening archway to the stairwell upstairs with the huge TV being offset a decent distance from this opening. The furniture was minimalist and gave the room an open feeling, with bean bags set up around the TV, a large central coffee table behind such bean bags, a minibar being the wall which held entrances to the kitchen, and a majority of anything that could be wood was of ebony wood. To top it all off, there were teal accents as mentioned which solidified the message of relaxation and seaside future manor. To the architect’s credit, they decided not to listen to Neptune’s request of “make it purple”.

As Neptune walked off scene holding a box, Drake assumed she was going to sleep as well as she faced away from him in such a way that he could not see the cargo. He had one more box to assemble under the tree, as there were multiple presents for each member of the party given by each member of the party, when he noticed that this one was missing the ribbon to finish it off. He got up and went to get the ribbons, to no avail.

* * *

“I swear I had it out… where’d it go?” Drake mumbled to himself, scouring the living room at this point.  
“Hohoho, are you looking for something?” Neptune inquired from the other side of the living room.  
“Why, yes. Do you know where the ribbons are? I seem to have mispla-” he cut himself off once he turned around to face Neptune.

“NANIIIII!?” he exclaimed, noticing that Neptune was 90% nude with the other ten percent of her goods being sheathed by red strips of ribbons. It was all wrapped tightly around her chest; one cup higher and it would burst. Her neck had it wrapped like a collar, with diagonals everywhere, and downstairs she was wearing a seemingly premium pair of red and white Christmas themed panties. As far as he could tell with his malfunctioning processing abilities, the ribbons were the only thing covering everything else including her chest. This was not to mention the smug face and santa hat, both of which she was wearing right now.

“I noticed that you had ONE more present to wrap… How could you forget about me~!” she exclaimed in a playful tone, her hair fangs seemingly flapping like cat ears.  
“Have you no shame, Nep! What will the cameras think of one of their CPUs now?”

“Whaaaat? Aren’t you restraining yourself from pouncing on me, being oh so defenseless~?” She inquired with a wink that could knock any man out, but unfortunately for her, Drake dealt with such advances by women in the streets daily, so it will take a bit more than that to break his resolve.

“Only a little bit. I deal with such advances by women in the streets daily, so it will take a bit more than that to break my resolve,” He said confidently, semi-faking it as it did indeed take some restraint with such a body being presented to him almost completely unclothed that was just begging to be touched- at the minimum.

“Can’t you pretend to be seduced!? This wasn’t the reaction I was expecting from you! I wanted to see you struggle to look away and beg for forgiveness for gazing upon the CPU of Planeptune in such a state…” Neptune said a bit disappointed and a bit sarcastic. “Advisor of Lastation turned Planeptunian from a mere gaze… why couldn’t it have been easy?”

“You’re telling me you were pretending to be drunk so you could pull this? I’m sorry to inform you but I am a man of high legal standing and values, and I prefer to keep it that way, for now at least,” Drake said with utmost confidence in his sense of justice and moral conscience.

“What! You won’t get a Noire reaction or Blanc reaction outta me but that doesn’t make me anymore upset!” Neptune retaliated, still half-naked this entire time. “Well if this doesn’t please you, then how about...” with a steady burst of light, she transformed in to the _actual_ CPU of Planeptune, one of them at least, Purple Heart. “... this?” she said, now with a much more mature and confident voice.

At this point, Drake had stumbled upon unforeseen consequences as he just intended on scolding the fluffed advances of the adventurous Goddess off, but right now she was effectively much _bigger_ of a problem for him in more ways than one if you know what I mean- if that was even possible considering she was pretty noice already.

“ _Oh my,_ ” he said, dumbfounded and now unable to stop staring.  
“Hmph, as I thought,” Neptune started. “Still going to scold me now? Not that I would mind~” she said seductively, inching closer to Drake who started to take cover behind the couch from this unbeatable boss battle.  
“I’m sincerely sorry for insulting you, Goddess!” He said behind the couch, using all the restraint he had in his now blood-deprived head to not think with his other one.

“Now you consider me a Goddess do you? Well, looks like I am going to get to see the reaction I wanted. Maybe I could make you faint… or would that be too much~?” She said rhetorically as she turned the corner of the couch and saw this poor mad-lad at her mercy. “Ha! I wonder what would happen if I were to… touch you?” she softly said as she leaned in towards his wide-eyed face. 

For this absolute unit of a man, it was now make or break. Apparently the case was the same for Neptune’s ribbons as well, as the Goddess clearly miscalculated the tension that such an upgrade in radius would cause on these poor pieces of not-so-elastic fabric that were probably having the time of their life despite being stretched paper thin. At some point, which is right now as her face was inches away from his while he’s still practically on his knees, the ribbon started tearing and _***snap***_. This Goddess should have gotten some advice from the other Goddess with a boob ribbon on how to properly prepare it.

Immediately as Neptune realized the central ribbon on her breast snapped and then all the others flew down with it, she covered her breasts and tripped over ungracefully, yet in Drake’s eyes that were still completely alert and perceptive, it was the most graceful sight an honorable man could behold. The portion of a second that was free for him to see the pretty pink orbs of desire was comparable to rationing one lone pizza pie at a kid’s birthday party, and inside he wanted more.

“Kyaaa! Don’t look at me!” she said indignantly a foot away from Drake, both of them being on the same level now, literally speaking. She crawled away while facing him, breasts still unfortunately covered by one arm. Such compromising movement left her panties in direct view the entire time, and Drake, now gaining some confidence, decided he would like them better if they weren’t there. The tides have turned as if there was a full moon that night, and it was glorious.

“What’s the matter? I thought you were going to make me pass out? Even you can’t do it from there!” he said quizzaciously, acknowledging the fact that she was now on the defensive.  
“This isn’t part of the prank anymore! Stop staring, now!” she said with protest.  
“Jarvis, close the stairwell and dim the lights to 50 percent” Drake said to no one, but the lights dimmed anyway and the stairwell entrance silently closed up with a door that erected from the ground with no door knob present.  
“Turn off the cameras too,” He added.  
“What was the reason for doing that?” Neptune said with visible uneasiness.  
“Nothing….nothing. It’s just that I didn’t really appreciate that little prank of yours, and I tend to hold grudges,” said Drake with uncharacteristic dead seriousness, as he got up and slowly walked towards the compromised Neptune, who began crawling away once she realized this could be bad.  
“H-hey! I’m the CPU of Planeptune you know! I-I demand you bring me my clothes this instant!” Neptune proclaimed with little confidence. Drake didn’t respond.  
“S-stop…” she said, now visibly scared and against the wall, naked and afraid with only a pair of Christmas panties to protect her innocence.

Drake crouched down in front of Neptune and extended his hand to her cheek, looking right at her beautiful eyes which began to tear up. He then put his other hand behind her back and pulled her and himself closer…

“NEPU!” he yelled in her face.  
“NEPU!” She nepped, debunking the myth that she couldn't nep when she was transformed, and faced her entire body towards the wall with a quick jerk.

“Really led you on with that didn’t I? The amount of mental restraint to not actually do something was unbearable once I saw your teary face filled with fear; I was going to do something very not PG-13 if I didn’t end my little joke right then and there,” Drake said with a complete 180 in expression, now getting up and walking off back to the couch. “That was hilarious, but I can’t look at you anymore right now or else it’s going to happen all over again but for real this time, so feel free to go get your clothes, _Goddess._ ” he added mockingly.

Neptune didn’t respond

“Uh… I hope I didn’t scar you or anything.” After no response once more, he went over to Neptune who was still facing directly to the wall.  
“Hey, are you oka-” He didn’t get to finish his sentence before Neptune did a sudden sweep kick, tripping and accelerating him to the ground at 9.8 meters per second _squared._

“HOLY dogoos I think I broke my spine!” Drake said flat on the ground groaning. He was about to say “what was that for” as he sat up when Neptune suddenly grabbed him and brought his face directly to her face an inch away and her face was filled with fury. She was no longer covering her breasts, but the close angle restricted Drake from looking down. 

“You wuss! You call yourself a man!?” Neptune said, clearly upset about something.  
“What is this about!?” Said Drake, now once more sexually frustrated in the predicament of having Neptune’s face and now unshielded body so close to his.  
“You put me in such a situation, and you didn’t even finish the deed!” exclaimed Neptune, now shaking Drake by the collar. “You didn’t even _start!_ ”  
“Whaaaaaat! You’re mad I didn’t assault you!? Do you hear yourself, Goddess?!” Drake said even more confused than he was compromised.

Neptune let go of him and went back to covering herself before Drake could see anything. She looked down at the ground dejectedly, realizing what a pitiful Goddess she was for not even being able to fully express her feelings while having no issue speaking to a nation. Nevertheless, she mustered up enough courage to just barely peep her thoughts.

“I-it’s not assault if I wanted it…” She said, almost to herself as it was so softly spoken.  
“I have no idea what you just said,” Said Drake, none the wiser.  
“You’re really going to make me say it aren’t you?” She said glaringly. “I said I wanted it!”  
“Well why didn’t you say so, Lady Neptune?” Drake said, pushing his body against Neptune as he connected his lips with hers once he realized there will be no repercussions, which was still a huge gamble.

It was completely unexpected by Neptune however, who had her eyes wide open after she realized what just happened and is still happening. Once she realized how exposed she still is, she started blushing furiously and attempted to release contact to recompose herself. As soon as she did, Drake took one look at her adorably embarrassed face and went roooooight back in, this time seeking for more.

* * *


	3. The Meat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know what makes sex pretty stimulating other than the action? The foreplay of course! That is exactly what you will be getting in this chapter, and an exchange of feelings I kinda just through in there because one of my friends said it was too lustful and not lovey. Is this what you asked for?

_**Chapter 3:**_ _The Meat_  
“Well maybe we wouldn’t sound so bad if some people didn’t play with **BIG**... _MEATY_... **_CLAWS!_** ”  
*raises big, meaty claws* “These claws ain’t only for attractin’ mates y’know!”

* * *

 

At this point, Neptune was pinned against the wall with one hand over her breasts and the other not knowing what to do while engaging in what so far is a shallow kiss. Well, it was shallow until Drake made the executive decision of requesting access to the inside of her mouth with his tongue. Neptune got the message and slowly opened up as the battle only started boiling- until they realized they needed air before they reached the steamy point. They broke contact before entering each others’ mouths and this time actually decided to speak, which was much harder to do than they realized.

“Uh...um…” Neptune began, unable to look Drake in the eyes anymore.  
“I-I…” Drake began, unable to look Neptune in the eyes anymore.  
“I’m sorry for doing such a thing, I think I got carried away. It is unacceptable for me to be doing such things with the CPU of Planeptune…” Drake said with half heart, as a considerable part of him didn’t really care if it was acceptable or not at this point as long as it continued.  
“N-no way! I started it, you know,” Neptune declared. “If you don’t mind, I would like to… continue” she said with a lack of eye contact. “But if it’s okay with you, may we…” She hesitated.  
“... may we go to a bedroom?”  
“O-oh. Sure I suppose… if we tiptoe.” Drake advised, but regardless, he and Neptune held hands and walked at a surprisingly brisk pace for both of them up the stairs and to his expansive bedroom and a bed that is a more than efficient size for where this is going. There was a multi-color change of light in the room from the light bars on the sides of it that transitioned from purple, to teal, to green, and so on, the most sinister of which being the red-light.

“Nice room,” Neptune said, clearly trying to fill the awkwardness of walking a decent distance from the living room to the bedroom in complete silence while holding hands. She decided to unbraid her hair, letting flow the lavender luscious locks that are more well maintained than Lastation’s army. The flutter of her lavender hair burst Drake’s face with the lovely scent of lavender, raspberry, and anything else that smells good that’s within the 400 nm wavelength as well, which he was surprised he didn’t note before.

“I hope this doesn’t come off the wrong way, but would you mind removing your hand from your chest, Lady Neptune?” Drake proposed as a nonchalant way of asking Neptune to show him her boobs.  
“I… suppose I could if you really want to see them that bad,” she said with fake assurance.

Regardless of her statement, she was hesitant to do so, but she caved into the tension and slowly put her shield of a hand back with its partner behind her. Once done, she reverted to a fruity tomato state in probably the most embarrassing moment of her life. It’s not that she had no confidence in her breasts, as she was for the most part aware that they do more than just qualify for most men; to have them fully bare in the open for someone else to see, however, was completely out of the realm of decency for a Goddess, and she knew that. She then thought back on how her untransformed self thought of dressing up only in ribbons and panties and half cursed and half thanked herself for the idea, probably more towards the side of thanking herself considering this unexpected but not at all undesirable outcome.

Drake, once he finally managed to catch a full view instead of a microsecond glimpse, finally snapped. He practically tackled Neptune onto the bed to her complete surprise, with the bouncy bed cushioning her from damage and her just as bouncy boobs cushioning his face from… damage.

“W-what are you doing!” She exclaimed as he was now on top of her and was roughly experimenting with her breasts, using his hands as tools.  
“I’m doing whatever! Do you know how perfect these jiggly balloons you have growing out of your chest cavity are, Lady Neptune? They are the absolute definition of perfect, you couldn’t get anything more perfect, they are not unreasonably large but too small either! Not to mention I have never gotten to feel such a soft yet supple sensation- to think it was within arm’s reach all along!” Drake exclaimed, squeezing and squishing Neptune’s sources of shame while she was slowly dying due to embarassment.

“S-stop!” she protested insincerely, “ I said st- nnnngh…” Neptune let out an unexpected moan, to which she covered her mouth. He began assaulting her sensitive spouts, and there’s two of them to pleasure. “Mmmmnn!” she let out in another cute squeal of shame. “W-what are you making me do?” She said, unsure of the unknown feeling she’s feeling at this moment. All she knew was that she didn’t particularly dislike it- quite the opposite in fact. Drake decided to move it up a notch to the already defensive Neptune.

He decided to use not only his hands, but the other very effective muscles he had in his mouth to continue the raid in the battles of bunker hills. He placed his entire mouth over her left one and massaged her right one. Once he began a series of flicks and circles with his tongue, Nep began to audibly moan. “HNNG- you’re NOT going to get any milk to COME out of THA- AHHH!” She said in a high frequency sinusoidal curve of squeaks and hastened speech, as if no logic or reason mattered in this instant.

Drake began the switcheroo to make sure he could win both battles while Neptune was effectively squirming around in pleasure to no avail. Once he’s had enough, since Nep definitely didn’t mind laying down for hours in such a situation, he sat up as a string of saliva was still connected from his tongue to her areola as he removed his mouth.

“Haaaaaa…haaaaaa…” Neptune was exhaling deeply. “Why did you sto- I mean… what now?” she said affectionately.

Drake decided to respond in action instead of words. He flipped her around forcibly so he was laying on the pillow and she was embarrassingly on top of him in a fully exposed view, her legs on his sides as her ass was directly over his crotch, which set a fire to her face. “Hey, do you think we could swi-” she attempted to say but not before she was grabbed and bought into a full frontal french face frappe, mouth already being open mid-sentence. He decided to continue the make-out session that they never got to turn into full frenching previously; he could not live on if he realized he let this end without a taste of Nepsi, although he usually preferred Coke.

She attempted to overcome her shyness by opening her mouth a little more and was even willing to attempt to branch her tongue out of its nest over to his. This little attempt of hers was shot down when Drake met her tongue with his in the middle of the bridge and began assaulting it, full battery as well. Neptune began enjoying this little game and returned the challenge. Both of them were rolling their tongues around with each others’ shamelessly, the exchange of saliva being as paramount an objective as breathing, mouths leaving no spaces at all. They began to get a bit frisky with their new-found confidence as Neptune finally utilized her slender arms to put them completely around Drake’s neck, one grabbing and playing with his hair, and one to squish him into even deeper of a kiss. Drake for one didn’t really know what to do with his hands, so he left them off to the side.

They only broke this trade exchange in short bursts for air, but realized if they just continued licking each other’s tongues in an unclosed system, they could get some air before enclosing their mouth over their perverted actions once more with only the sacrifice of inconstant momentum. The excess of the fluid was unbelievable; some of the saliva began leaking from the seeps of their mouth to which one or the other broke the kiss to lick it off the side of the other’s face playfully in full seduction to return back to the suction.

She noticed how Drake wasn’t doing anything with her hands, so her being a literal executive, made the executive decision of moving both of his hands to her waist and returned hers to their previous position.

The image now presented with them frenching like their tongues were baguettes with his hands on her hips and her hands around his neck screamed lovers. They continued this little session for what seemed like an eternity, as they could have gone without water the entire day and seemingly still have been in full hydration by the end of it considering the amount of liquid each one took in happily. Near the end of it they were quite noisy, with Drake completely enveloped in the premium taste of Nep and Nep not even trying to stay quiet with what she wanted. They finally broke it up and another string of saliva was made apparent from each of their tongues, to which Nep just did a quick flick and licked off the tip of his tongue.

“I think I prefer you over Coke, and any food for that matter actually,” Drake began. “Your nutritional value better be good since I don’t think I will be eating anything else for the next week.”  
“Hmmm, I can’t say I would be opposed to that~,” Nep said in a mature manner. “I’m finally not completely… submissive now, have you noticed? The problem was that we did things in the wrong order- I think! Also… I’ve never done this before,” she said the last part with apparent honesty. “I’m sorry if I’m doing things wrong…” she said this in such an innocent manner that Drake felt as though he would be the Devil himself for doing such indecent acts with this cute little purple snowball, who objectively speaking was not little at all.  
“Don’t apologize! I’ve never done this before either…” he said with utmost truth.  
“What, really?” She said with her face lighting up, “but any woman would fall for you!” She exclaimed, looking him in the eyes for once.  
“Oh, is that so?” he said, seeking for something more. “Is it just because I look good?”

“No, no way,” she said looking him dead in the eye. “As soon as we were introduced, you helped me out as if you were my advisor just as much as Noire’s, and then you did even more for the nation than for me, and made soup for Histoire to give me when I was sick, and when I reluctantly showed you my bug book, you were the only one who didn’t laugh or was weirded out; you even helped me catch a big one! And who knows what else we could do if… we’re together from now on. It might seem petty, but you’re the coolest, nicest, and funniest man I’ve ever met, and even if you weren’t, I’ve fallen for you ever since you first gave me that smile!” She went on speaking from her heart. She was not the leader of an entire nation right now, she was just a girl who had her heart stolen, her first kiss stolen, and probably something else stolen soon.

“I…” Drake really didn’t know what to say. He was expecting something more but not to this extent, and he was completely unaware of what he meant to Neptune as he was just doing the usual. He couldn’t believe that one person cared about him like this, and he was filled with an emotion he couldn’t describe in words for the life of him. Any part of him that was doing this out of lust, if it ever existed, was exterminated.

“What am I saying!” Neptune exclaimed to herself suddenly realizing the implications of her little speech. Any confidence that she regained was once again lost.“I can’t believe I said all that! Think nothing of-” Drake silenced her with a quick kiss, which he broke after a few seconds. Be it cheesy as it was, that move was glorious.  
“Think nothing of it? That’s impossible. Had I no heart, and even if you’re the CPU of Planeptune, I still wouldn't be able to acknowledge that request,” He said sincerely.  
“So… you’re fine with this? Even as a loyal Lastationer and Noire’s advisor?” She inquired, hoping with all her vulnerable heart that the answer was yes.  
“Of course, more fine than powdered sugar,” he answered immediately.

Neptune smiled the most genuine smile he had ever laid eyes on in his entire life, and the fact that it was from objectively one of the most beautiful if not the most beautiful woman in the world just worked as a logarithmic multiplier. She, instead of a kiss, went in for surprisingly the most effective of attacks, the hug. It was the fluffiest hug in history, and one of the few that Drake’s ever gotten, so as determined he was to return such feeling with an equally strong counter, his hugging skills were a bit unrefined. The hug lasted for longer than a normal hug amongst friends should, but considering they couldn’t be considered as friends after such events, the criminally long hug was taken with no charge. Clearly, love was all but sorted, so they could do the more lustful acts with no restraint in the back of their mind.

Drake sat up and pushed Neptune down flat with no opposition by her, although the new position was much worth blushing for like everything else that happened. She no longer had the desire to cover up her chest, much to his appeasement. However, he was interested in the black market goods instead of surface trade, so he backed up a bit and placed his fingers onto Neptune’s premium pantsu and felt a humane warmth from the area.

“D-don’t touch that place! That’s too naughty!” Neptune exclaimed, yet made no attempt to stop him, so he decided to put more pressure on his fingers and lined them up and down and around the inside of her thighs. To his surprise, he found that they were soaked.

“Did you really get this wet from just kissing and breast foreplay? Your body is much more lewd than appears to the eye, and that’s saying something, Goddess.”  
“It’s not what it looks like!” Neptune pleaded in her defense.  
“Well, it’s exactly what it feels like,” Drake said as he decided it was time this expensive piece of clothing comes off to reveal the priceless content. It was one DLC he felt was worth getting.  
“W-wait!” Neptune grabbed his hands before he exposed her innocence.  
“What?” He inquired, as for once Neptune actually stopped him.  
“This isn’t fair! You…” she wasn’t sure if she wanted to say the next part of her sentence in case it was too uncharacteristic. “You… still have all your clothes on…” she said what she wanted, but in doing so she exposed her own desires and covered her face.  
“Do you want me to take them off?” He inquired on purpose since he knew what kind of cute response he would get.  
“...yes, please.” She said quietly, face still covered which didn’t hide her blush.

“As you wish,” he said as he took off only his shirt, leaving his night pants and what’s underneath for Neptune to think about. She moved one of her fingers since she, as a lady, still could not resist seeing the top physical peak of performance that he had to offer, now uncovered. She didn’t want to ask anything else, less she make her case of being an upstanding model of purity even worse. So, she decided to simply reach out and poke his abdomen a couple of times, which confused him but satisfied her completely.

“Well I suppose it’s your turn again,” Drake said as he proceeded to his previous position of preparing to pull the panties off, much to Neptune’s surprise.  
“Hold on!” She squeaked in mid poke, unable to stop him from finally sliding them all the way down and off her feet. “aaaAAAAH!” She quickly sat up trying to cover her womanhood and heatbutting Drake in the process, which flashbanged him from seeing anything.  
“Ah! I’m sorry it’s just that it was so sudden and-” she couldn’t really think of a valid excuse for why she was so intense about it other than embarrassment, since at the end of the day she was pretty damn sure she wanted this guy.  
“Completely understandable, sorry about that,” Drake apologized. “However, I think I’d like some revenge for that headbutt, so prepare thyself for my superior battle tactics.”  
“Huh?” Was Nep’s last word before he shifted himself so he could begin to kiss and nibble Nep’s cheek.  
“Eeep!” She peeped kittenishly, expecting something worse but was faced with something pleasant to say the least. “This is... fine,” she said as she began to play with his hair as he nibbled her blush centers, which both of them were fine doing for the rest of the day if it came to. To say the least, she “felt cute” for once instead of embarrassed.

However, this was just a facade since Drake suddenly lowered his head to Nep’s neck and changed his nibble to more of a bite, which prompted her to gasp. She didn’t particularly dislike this sensation, but the fact she didn’t just put her real kinks in question. She allowed him to continue, biting her lip the entire time. As much as Drake would have like to pierce her skin with his aggressive nibbles at this moment, he would have liked to do it in a different way if you know what I mean. Therefore, this act was another facade to suddenly flip Neptune over so her now exposed behind was raised in the air; it seems he has played his cards in the face down position.

Before Nep could react to being exposed to the tenth power, Drake shoved his face into her honey pot like he was Pooh, letting his carnal desires run free. It was already so close that he could taste it, and he did. Neptune squirmed around furiously but she was held in place firmly by each cheek, not the ones on her face this time- although he’s more than willing to bite these ones as well. The pheromones around her dripping kitten were in a high enough concentration that it probably went way past the LD50 mark, if it was only lethal. He took his time surveying the area with all his senses thoroughly, except maybe hearing. Once the adventure was planned, his tongue armed up and delved into the cave behind the waterfall- deep into it.

“I think I love the taste of this even more than your tongue,” He spoke with his mouth still making a second Christmas Eve dinner of the whole area, so all it did was act as a vibrator which made Neptune do her first loud and uncontrollable moan. To stop such a thing, Neptune grabbed the pillow and bit onto it while also firmly grasping it, but made no more attempts to shake off her assailant. He continued eating her out while getting the occasional muffled “aAHHH” or “MMMMNN” from Neptune who was seemingly pushing her ass into his face for even more, and every action has an equal and opposite reaction so he simply increased his own applied force. Nep’s feline companion was getting butchered and he was the “terrible” Vet.

Drake more than enjoyed the new smells and tastes which he gained from his new cannibalistic adventure, which could describe Neptune as sweet as cinnamon. After literally having his fill and licking his lips, he sat up and made more sugar talk. Neptune was still in a bit of euphoria after she moaned all she wanted with the soundproof pillow absorbing it, so she never heard any of his clever comments. He took the lack of a response and quivering body as a sign of tacit consent for more, so very simply, he sat up and waited for Neptune’s senses to readapt to the horrible feeling of not having someone actively eating her out. Eventually, she did, and she just sat up as well and looked at him with _those_ eyes and her tongue sticking out her mouth like she also enjoyed a meal of the same caliber. “Now it’s my turn~”

* * *


	4. The Triple Krabby Supreme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NOMNOMNOM This is the main COURSE, ladies and gentlemen! If you are only reading this for pure action, then just read this chapter if you don't care about development or anything like that. Unbelievable to me, I managed to write a whole ten pages of this cheese, as compared to the 15 other pages of fluff. This is indeed my first attempt at writing about ~s-stuff~ like this so please bash inaccuracies or grammar issues! Arigatou, my guys! sorry about that last statement...

**Chapter 4:** _The Triple Krabby Supreme_  
“Fine, I guess you’re gonna miss… the _panty_ raid ”

* * *

 

She pounced on him, and he laid down with her hovering over his nightwear, her hands on his thighs while her body made a negative 45 degree angle from her tail bone. She wanted him now, but she wasn’t sure how, and he wasn’t going to do anything about it- more like he couldn’t even if he wanted to.

“Are you alright, Lady Neptune?” Drake asked Neptune, acknowledging the radical change in behavior, as Neptune seemed to be flipping from very shy to very assertive.  
“I’ve never been better. Now, tell me what you want me to do. I’ll do _anything_ you want~”, the fallen Goddess said seductively, juice still dripping down her leg and on to the bed while she stared Drake down.  
“Well, to start off with, may you do me as well, Lady Neptune?”

“Of course~” she said as she slid off his nightwear and his boxers with it, licking her lips in anticipation. Once it was off, his dick sprang to life and smacked her face, much to Neptune’s surprise, enough so that it destroyed her facade completely. She stared at it with mixed feelings of awe, confusion, a hint of shyness, and not a single hint of disappointment. She sat up, now realizing she agreed to put this thing in her mouth in the moment.

“Is there something wrong?” Drake asked, worrying that his manhood was not good enough for her.  
“No it’s just that… I’ve never seen one before. Are they supposed to be that big?” She inquired innocently.  
“You’ve never seen one before? You mean you don’t watch or read anything explicit at all?” Drake asked in subtle relief and increased pride at her unintended compliment.  
“Is that what you think of me?” She said pouting. “Well, I’ve never really had the time to do stuff like that with all the other responsibilities I have,” she answered, slowly extending her hand around his rooster.  
“So you _are_ a competent CPU!”  
“What is that supposed to mean!” She recoiled, choking his chicken tightly at the comment.  
“NOTHING!” Drake yelped dramatically, overplaying what she did as painful when it wasn’t that bad in hopes of getting her to apologize.

“Hmph. So… I’m supposed to eat this?” She inquired innocently once more, bringing her face closer to his sword to the point where he could feel her breath. “It smells...weird” She observed poking the foreign object with her nose. Luckily, both of them had showered after dinner with their own favorite brand of soap, Drake preferring Old Spice ™. Even then, undertones of his own scent and pheromones remained, enough to rev up Nep’s olfactory sensory neurons just past the minimum threshold; it turned her on subliminally.

“I’m not sure it will taste very good,” She said, noting how few things compare to pudding.  
“Well, me neither, but from my experience with hentai it’s apparently amazing. Would you like to stage an experiment and see if that’s true?” He asked her, attempting to egg her on.  
“If you insist…” she said, now starting off with a lick off and around the tip.  
“Hooooooly **nematodes** ,” Drake said to himself, completely underestimating how this would feel.

She continued treating his dick like a popsicle and even started to use long licks from the base to the top, looping around once she got there in attempts to coat it with her saliva. She was clearly and painfully inexperienced with what she’s supposed to do here, but nevertheless, Drake wasn’t complaining since her little tongue act would still far outrank the exalted blowjob capacity of the most exalted courtesan. Sooner or later, he turned into a maple tree and his long john began slowly leaking clear fluid in preparation for the fireworks. Neptune noted this new excrement, and decided to lap that up too to see if this was what tasted good since so far, she tasted nothing. She took a pause afterwards.

“This makes me feel… dirty,” she said quietly, staring at her still wet canvas she painted with her tongue as the brush. For some reason she couldn’t identify, she still had the urge to keep doing what she was doing.  
“As it should, Goddess. Even I couldn’t imagine you doing something so lewd,” Drake added smiling.  
“Shut it,” she replied with the fierceness of a puppy considering she was on her knees and naked. “What am I supposed to do now?”  
“Try putting it in your mouth”  
“What! I’ll choke!” She replied, concerned with her health.  
“Well I never said you had to do the whole thing,”  
“Fine, but this better be worth it,” Said Neptune, but she wasn’t sure what she meant by worth it. She wasn’t even sure if she actually disliked doing this.

Nep opened her mouth and slowly closed it over the top half of his member. She went down as far as she could and went back up again. Drake decided to use his title of advisor to advise her to use her tongue, to which she complied with no complaint. She decided to use her tongue while it was still in her mouth and swirled it and flicked it and slashed it against his cock, which kaiokened the amount of pleasure Drake was receiving. Neptune noticed his hands grasping at invisible straws and the look in his eyes and it pleased her, and made her want to suck harder, better, faster, and with more skill. She closed her eyes and used her godly tongue and mouth to take him in deeper and deeper until she reached her limit, which still wasn’t all the way to the base. She began enjoying this lewd act and took one of her hands to firmly grasp it while she went on a circus run of all the things she could do with her tongue and mouth that have leveled up considerably fast in this game. 

“Your fellatio is amazing! This is unimaginably g-good! What a smutty CPU to have such drive in a blowjob!” Drake stated, now striking down cloud penguins on cloud nine in his mind. For once, Neptune didn’t retaliate at one of his downgrading comments about her purity, since she herself realized how obscene her desires have become. Once she wanted pudding and now she wants kissing. At the moment, she was simply enjoying her flesh flavored ice cream cone which she effectively placeboed herself into tasting good. Little did she know she hasn’t even gotten the real ice cream yet.

“Lady Neptune! I think you should stop! Right NOW in FACT!” He said with his syllabic emphasis gone wack.  
“Why would I do that?” She said, mouth still encasing his cock, the vibrations of which led to her downfall.

Those were her last words since Big-D released his unholy load into her holy mouth cavity, and had the amount of ejaculate been Coca Cola ™ , then she would have surely gotten cavities. The cream colored viscous fluid poured into her mouth suddenly, and it showed no signs of stopping. Neptune attempted to release herself from this flood in her mouth, since she realised she couldn’t breathe if the cum kept on coming. However, Drake held her in place, and luckily wasn’t cruel enough as to shove her head all the way down which, given the duration of his orgasm, would have left her unconscious. Regardless, this gave her only the option of swallowing, which the shameful CPU had to do in what would be the most crude act she’s ever done.

As she drank his fructose sperm mixture, she noted its unique flavor. It was bitter for having been filled with a sugar of a sort, and it wouldn’t be the first on her list of beverages objectively based on taste, but as it sat there soaking in her taste buds and the scent flowing to her nose, she slowly started to love the taste of his cum. Near the end of it, Drake released his hold on her scented hair, yet she remained there with her eyes closed, pleasantly taking in the rest of the load. Once it stopped, she released herself off his dick and swallowed the rest that was in her mouth, and looked back at the slimy stick she had been tonguing a second ago with thoughts of how dishonored (great game) she’s gotten and with glaring desire still harassing her mental processes.

“Haaaaaa… I’m sorry you had to drink all of that. I was caught in the moment and… didn't want it to get in your hair! Yeah, let’s go with that!” Drake proposed as an excuse for knowingly drowning Neptune. Neptune stared him down with a blank expression. “Please don’t shank me and if you do then at least-” Nep suddenly shoved his dick back in her mouth and began making unbelievably lewd noises as she attempted to get as much fluid off of it and out of it as she could. She took it out and and used her tongue to clean it off, clearly having no issue doing such a thing based off her own accord.

“Lady Neptune, what has happened to you?” Drake said rhetorically, only slightly concerned with the Goddess’ sexual behaviors- of which she’s had none until this succession of acts.  
“I don’t know… but you must have spiked my drink or something.”  
“You mean the one you just had or the ones hours before?”  
“Don’t remind me of what I just did! Whatever came out of your dick, it’s making me feel weird!”  
“I don’t have an MD, but what seems to be the problem?”  
“I think I have a stomach ache… my lower body is burning up,” Neptune said, her face reddening.  
“You stomach is not in your lower abdomen, so I believe that the issue must be in your lewd center. It’s either that or the fact that your body mass is 1% semen.”  
“What is the next thing we do!” Nep said, disregarding his statements completely.  
Drake looked at Nep’s eager power button eyes looking at him pleadingly, yearning for forbidden knowledge. Then, his brain came up with a perfect transition that he hoped wouldn’t break the mood.

“You have a CPU right?”  
“What? I _am_ a CPU,” Nep replied, confused if her supreme purple power is being challenged.  
“Close enough.You have a USB port right?”

Neptune looked at him judgingly, not sure where this is going.

“What we need to do now is take my USB stick and upload data by sticking it into your USB port, one of the two that you have!” Drake said, nodding to himself at his slick buildup and execution, with hints of disappointment at all the computer and console jokes he could have made earlier like one with analog sticks or something. Nep’s power buttons stared at him, insulted, while Nep glared at him, understanding his implications but not finding them very funny.

“You want to stick that _where?_ ” She said, unsettled and noting it was still rock hard. Drake slowly plopped Neptune down, and pulled up her legs, noting her dam was still leaking love juice.  
“N-No way! I thought it was improper enough for you to eat me there but now you want to put that thing in it?” She retaliated, wriggling free and taking cover in the blankets.

It seemed throughout this entire session, she knew she was doing something scandalous but knew nothing about the doing. It appears she never attended health class but was able to take a hint at what to do during such a thing. Her logic was that it was supposed to feel good so it must be going somewhat right. At the minimum, she at least knew she was doing something called sex and it’s only supposed to be done between people who like each other a lot. The extent of her knowledge here seemingly contradicts her knowledge in the arts of seduction, which now seemingly didn’t ever go that far either regardless of her track record as a mature and cultured Goddess- when transformed as she was now at least.

“I thought you knew at least right? What with you wrapping yourself up in ribbons and leaving only panties on, and then mercilessly attacking me with your threats, it seems you have a basic understanding of what a man wants right?” Drake objected, his case very strong.  
“Well… whenever I do something like that it never gets to a point like this. All I thoroughly knew was kissing, and already that’s such a shameful act for me, and I suppose I knew the basic set-up to reproduction but you made me doubt all my prior knowledge because of all the salacious things you were doing that had nothing to do with the goal of… sex! My normal self would be much more open to stuff like this, but I’m the CPU of Planeptune!” Neptune objected, trying to hastily explain her actions thus far, trying to shy over the sudden sexy switches in personality she’s had which she knew was some sort of innate, indecent, instinct, which she wished she could cover up and never look at again.

Drake thought over Purple Heart’s words and it made sense that she would be one to feel like cuddling was something to blush over considering how high and mighty she had to be for her citizens a hundred percent of the time. On the other hand, he considered how she would have been untransformed. Perhaps she would have given into her instincts and done whatever her body was telling her to do then, and there would have been no pause in the session to inquire what’s next. Although, he smiled to himself wondering if they would now be a thing, which meant he could fluff and spoil Neptune as much as he wanted, transformed or not, and it would have been hilarious to see how Noire would react.

* * *

“What’s so funny?” Neptune asked, wondering if her lack of experience was enough to be comical.  
“Obviously not me, but how about we get this show on the road? It’s been on and off the sidewalk for a painfully long time,” Drake requested, attempting to pull the blankets off of Neptune.

“Fine… but you better be careful with me alright?” The Goddess requested, allowing her barrier to be taken down, and then laying down on the black-white-split pillow. She was still aching for something, and a sudden realization came to her that she might have wanted, or rather needed, to be impaled ungracefully for the ache to go away. She didn’t want to look down at the state of her genitalia; she could already feel that it was hungry, as reluctant as she would be to admit that even to herself.

“Of course,” Drake assured her, not seeking to cause her pain in any way. He positioned himself in front of Neptune’s entrance, after spreading her legs much to her embarrassment, to which he attempted to fix by leaning down and giving her a kiss on her soft cheek; this did nothing to help. 

“Think we can keep it going without a pause?” He asked the naked Goddess he was on top of.  
“That depends on if I like it or not…”  
“You already know you will,” He said staring close to and at Neptune as she pouted back.  
“Just put it in!” She demanded,  
“Very well,” Drake said as he began to slide in slowly. “This will hurt- a lot- considering you claimed you never did this before,” he added, a bit too late for Nep’s comfort.  
“What?” Was her last word before feeling immense pain in her lower abdomen; it was enough to make the veteran combatant tear up a bit. She bit her lips, and was visibly in pain.  
“Lady Neptune! Damn I didn’t know it would hurt that much! Forgive me, I’ll stop imme-”  
“Keep going…” She said with difficulty. She extended her hands towards him as if asking for a hug, and she attempted to smile, also through much difficulty, and it just looked like she was holding back a laugh that was armed and slicing out her trachea. She clearly needed some literal support, so Drake lowered himself so his face was in Nep’s neck and Nep could hold on to something. During the entire process he was entering deeper into her very tight ravine and could feel tearing which he assumed caused her the intense pain. Where he felt major heaven, she felt minor hell, especially the burning aspect of it. 

“This is n-nothing for a Goddess!” She said to reassure herself more than Drake.  
“I can only assume that your level of endurance which is already high as you are a lady is only enhanced when transformed, but it can only go so far, so tell me if you would like to go slower.”  
“Okay… In that case I want you to go all the way in,” She said in a gamble, deciding to basically rip off the band-aid instead of slowly tearing it off in a way.  
“Are you sure, Lady Neptune? You’re already… bleeding… a little.”

“Do it!” She braced herself and hugged tightly. Then, in one fell swoop, she was stabbed with the Spear of Leonidas. Her priceless virginity was ripped from her just like her hymen. She could feel warmth radiating from her underwater cave, only it was from blood- as if a sacrifice had been made to satiate her hunger. It got absorbed and camouflaged seamlessly right into the black square of the self-cleaning checkerboard bed, but since she didn’t find blood loss too appealing she weakly used a bit of CPU magic to stop the bleeding and any blood present. Nevertheless, that didn’t stop the massive amount of hurt that happened in that instant and was still happening; it was as if she actually got stabbed and stopped the bleeding: it doesn’t fix the stab wound itself. She bit down on Drake’s neck to hold in squeals and her tears flowed down her cheeks onto him, and her grip on him was comparable to Stalin’s grip on Russia- luckily she wasn’t as cruel a leader. 

Drake noticed she was shook, and still literally shaking, so he held his position instead of deciding to retreat to plan another rush. The grip Neptune had on his neck was _nothing_ to the grip Neptune had on his dick. Ironically enough, it was as though it would get its blood circulation cut off at this rate. Nevertheless, he _idolized_ this feeling- the feeling of how it was to be inside of _the_ Purple Heart, and at the far, far minimum, the feeling of how it was to be all the way inside of a woman. Her top of the top of the line walls were like assertive jello, lined with velvety cake topped with a lot of syrup. It would be criminal for him not to nom her up as he’s done prior, but now he’s going about it a different way with a different muscle.

Once Nep recomposed herself sufficiently enough to speak intelligibly and was adapting to the glaring pain, she ordered him to move with as much courage as she could muster. He went to and fro slowly, making sure to mentally straitjacket himself so he wouldn’t cave into the unimaginable pleasure and just drill her- not yet.

“Is this… supposed to feel good?” She asked in a shaky voice, trusting her limited knowledge of the subject less and less. As luck would have it, as Drake kept up his whole note metronome of a rhythm while churning her insides, it seems he mixed her pain and pleasure as well. Neptune’s tears slowly dried up, as they weren’t in enough abundance to stay liquid any longer; the pulsing burning feeling she had was being dealt with a slow, pulsing enjoyment every time Drake went back in. Her “ache” that she was complaining about long before, which she forgot existed for a while, was being completely treated by his love stick. The feeling went from good to very good to what the goodness is this sensation and where can I buy more. 

“Go faster you snail!” She said to him with love.  
“Wow, okay,” he replied.

He accelerated at a constant rate, but not to his maximum potential quite yet. He wasn’t sure how long he could last inside of Neptune, even at the slow turned fast rate he was going. Every, time he went as deep as her anatomy would allow, and every time, the risk of losing control gave him a shoulder massage. Therefore, he tried to think of other things, like penguins and how funny they looked, but Neptune’s iced power button eyes looking at him with responsibility turned him on to the point where he couldn't think about penguini on ice. 

“Mmmmmmn...ahhhhhh,” Nep quietly moaned to herself, hoping Drake wouldn’t hear.  
“Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?” He asked her, clearly able to hear her moans as he was inches from her face. Unfortunately, it seems she was in her own little world now and dismissed his question. He went even faster to satisfy himself now that Nep was fine with whatever, and his stamina permitted it. To this, Nep began moaning louder and put one hand over her mouth, while leaving the other around his neck, and she took her legs and put them around him as well. Her prepossessing eyes were closed as she enjoyed every moment.

“Since you like it so much, why don’t you do it yourself?” Drake asked her so they could switch things around. He wasn’t necessarily tired, or alarmingly close to releasing, but felt that Nep was getting too much of an adoring treatment, as she had been getting throughout the entire time. He didn’t mind spoiling her at all and loved treating her, but wanted to see how she would react when she had to manually put himself inside her each time. However, Neptune of course didn’t respond to this either, so to wake her up he bit her cheek.

“Nep!” She nepped as soon as she felt the sharp but not crude pain in her blush center. “Whaa-aat? Nnnnngh…”  
The Goddess replied, slightly annoyed but moaning nonetheless. Drake shifted both of them so now he was laying down where Neptune was and Nep was sitting on top of him, still impaled.  
“Now it’s my turn to enjoy myself, with all due respect,” He said to her, ignoring the fact that he thoroughly enjoyed himself beforehand regardless of whether he was doing the work or not.  
“No thank you, I would prefer if _you_ could keep making _me_ feel good,” She said indifferently. “Besides, you can’t lie to me and say that you didn’t like it as much as I did!” She said smiling down at him.  
“Well if _you_ want me so bad then prove it,” Drake challenged her.  
“I-I can’t do that!”  
“Do it you won’t”  
“It would be improper of me to willingly let a man insi… fine!” Nep caved in to her own desire, and she began moving herself up and down the pike as fast as she saw fit. Once she found her euphoria once more, she descended her upper body over his chest and kept up her tempo.

Drake found his euphoria once more as well, and all he had to do was lay there and watch her pearly, slim, toned body do the rest for him. Her hair poured over his face, but he didn’t particularly mind. However, the entire scene was a prerequisite for one of his evil plans to bring Nep to the dark side. He extended his hands and firmly grasped Nep’s shamefully soft and squeezable cheeks, to her minimal protest. She simply thought he wanted something to hold on to, and while she found it delightfully perverted, she decided to let it slide as she’s been through far more perverted in the last undefined amount of time.

This decision was one of her undoings, as Drake used his new leverage to forcibly bring Neptune up and down- all the way down- so much so that his dick would kiss her cervix, and this sparked buried pleasures that she never knew were even possible to feel. She moaned louder than ever before and for once didn’t care at all for covering it up and who heard it.

“AAAGHN, YES! KEEP D-DOING THAAAT~!” She pleaded with him, timing herself so that she could assist in the thrust and maximize range and good feels.  
“SHIT! I hope I can!” Drake said, scrambling to hold on to any restraint he had left. He didn’t expect the bottom of her mariana trench to be such an addictive stimulant.  
“DEEPER! FASTER! I want MORE- NNGH!” Neptune lost self-control, and instinct took over, presumably with no end. At this moment, she was a basketball being dribbled by Dwayne the Rock Johnson on his drive to the basket.  
“YES- NGGH.... YES~!” She exclaimed while over circulating serotonin and dopamine.

Drake wasn’t sure what type of input he could give on the situation, or if she would care at all, so he tried to shut himself up which even for his disciplined self was hard to do with this machine trying to milk him. At some point very soon, he feared he would go ham as well and then there would be no voice of reason on this bed, just very loud and sexual ones.

Neptune went down and grabbed his face, stared at him while biting her tongue, and began passionately making out with him- never once had she been the instigator and now she was the whole team. Her sweet saliva would have gotten everywhere had she stayed bouncing on his dick so she needed an outlet, and he was happy to receive. Above that, she did this as a lewd thank you for releasing her from her cage of restraint. She released the kiss and then looked at him through hearts, now that both of them stopped the thrusts.

“Thank you for teaching me all this~” She said affectionately, her eyes stuck on the heart icon.  
“Bend over, Nep, now it’s my turn to do the work, right?” He said to her, dismissing her statement and deciding he will longer address her by Lady or Goddess, as she barely qualifies right now.  
“Like before?”  
“Like this,” he said, manually positioning Neptune like a female dog in heat. Her indignant ass was raised up high while her face and hands were once again on the pillow.  
“Pervert!~” The Goddess said smiling neppily; apparently all social barriers she’s had before have been broken. In fact, they’ve been annihilated and burned.

“Do you want to see my ass that bad while thrusting into me? What a vulgar position!”  
“Well it seems like you’ve managed to keep up your desire persona. Are you even the same shy yet classy and pristine Purple Heart anymore?”  
“But of course I am! I just don’t have any shame left to feel or any more questions to ask about all this. That all got broken down, and we went through the scary parts already so all that’s left is to feel good right?”  
“I suppose,” Drake said. Even though he got the explanation, he still couldn’t believe this succubus was the same Purple Heart he’s always known, even before he ignored all her predispositions of what is proper and crude for her to do. He positioned himself in front of Neptune, looking at the glorious view.

“Don’t be too gentle alright? I can take much mo-”

He plunged all the way into her pussy in one thrust, almost penetrating her cervix had it not been borderline impossible for that to happen. This prompted a wide-eyed gasp from Neptune who was caught off guard with her pants down.

“HUH!?” she squealed, her eyes going blank at how deep he was going.  
“And THIS is SUPER SAIYAN GOD!” Drake exclaimed as he grabbed Nep and shoved his dick violently as far as he could into Nep once more and once more and many more times, as though he wanted to break the sound barrier and as though he was going to go unconscious from the stimulation that he felt.

“NYAAA! You’re going TOO DEEP! AAAAHN~!” Nep was moaning uncontrollably, and Drake did not stop to her protest.  
“Nggghh… I can FEEL it IN my STOMACH MMMMNN!”  
“Your lewd insides feel too good! No way I’m going to stop!”  
“Don’t say stuff like thaaaat! Nnnnn…!” Nep exclaimed. She claimed she no longer felt shame and that’s why she caved into instinct, but the words that just came out of her mouth pleasantly reassured Drake this was still the adorable CPU he knew and loved. Therefore, he amped up the ante.

“YOU’RE GOING TO BREAAAAK MEEEEE~!”  
“I’ll just- haaaa- turn you on and off again!”  
“SHUT UP!”

They kept it up as if they were cultured animals, none of them holding anything back which made it difficult for either of them to last very long at all despite both of their superior stamina.

“Nep! I think I’m going to-”  
“Something FEELS WEIRD!” she exclaimed as he thrust into her mercilessly regardless.  
“You think you can time it!?” Drake asked her, wanting a synchronized finish.  
“N-No! I’m going to EXPLODE!”  
“You’re telling me huh!?”

Drake didn’t care anymore, and was about to fire a cannonball from a musket before he realized it might be bad to cream inside of Neptune.

“I’m going to pull out okay!”  
“NO! DO IT INSIDE OR I’LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!”  
“WHAT!?”

He didn’t have time to console his actions before the beaver build of a dam he had going was eviscerated by his flood, and he came inside Neptune’s deepest crevices. Her pussy was being punished by all the semen, and the feeling of the hot liquid inside of her prompted Neptune to heavily orgasm as well- her biggest one, as she’s certainly had some beforehand.

“HOLY SHIT, NEPTUNE! You’re going to DRAIN me!” He exclaimed, realizing the tightness around his dick wouldn’t even had permitted him to pull out if he wanted to without losing his dick in the process.  
“AAAAHHN~! IT FEELS SOOOO GOOOOD! DON’T PULL OUT!” Neptune commanded him through her spasms, grinding against him to make sure he releases as deep as possible, welcoming the feeling of the vulgar liquid inside her.

Some of his cum began leaking out of Nep as it was in such abundance, and it was trickling and tickling down her leg or just poured onto the bed which evaporated the liquid instantly so as to remain clean. When Nep was finally satisfied and her grip on him weakened, he slid out. Neptune plopped sideways onto the bed, exhausted.

“CPUs only get impregnated if they want to…” She explained.  
“Hey… You better do this whenever I want, understand? As one of the leaders of Planeptune, I demand it!” Purple Heart said to him, looking to pleasure herself in the future with Drake.  
“Well, why not now then?” He asked nonchalantly.  
“W-What?”

He gave Nep a sinister look as she sat up once more and she realized he was still not satisfied. She was completely baffled, but then she had a feeling of impending doom at what this meant for her. 

“I think I’m fine for now… haha,” she said trying to think of a way out of this situation.  
“Don’t worry, if you’re too tired I’ll do all the work, and I’ll make sure to not be too gentle like you asked!”  
He approached Neptune, who took cover under the blankets once more.  
“I still haven’t recomposed myself or my mind yet! Any more stimulation and I’ll pass out!”  
“That’s fine…” he said as he went under the blankets as well and found Nep.  
“You better stop…” she said quietly, hoping she was just going to get jumpscared like before.  
“Not this time,” he said, grabbing Neptune, and beginning the cycle once more.

* * *


	5. A Side of Kelp Fries and a Diet Dr.Kelp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cute little epilogue where I try to explain my bullshit, probably unsuccessfully, and probably not that cute. A CPU Stone thing is a thing right? I swear they used it in like Megadimension VII after Nep went through this portal. By the way, I probably should have said this sooner but please don't interpret the Spongebob quotes as dialogue...

**Chapter 5:** _A Side of Fries and a Diet Dr. Kelp_  
“Hey, Mr. Krabs, you’re getting all sweaty again!”

* * *

 

Drake woke up in his fluffy white pajamas with a fluffy cat-eared hood. His bed was a pure white, in contrast to the checker pattern last night; it seems that it did its usual sheet change inconspicuously once they got off it. However, this time, he felt someone next to him which never happened before, and he quickly glanced over to see Purple Heart sound asleep in matching white kitty pajamas holding on to his arm. He remembers each of them taking a shower, Neptune needing to be carried to it, and then searching around for something comfy to wear but this was a cuter outfit than he remembered taking out- for both of them.

He glanced at the clock- 6 A.M. He glanced at the large-scale window- it was a grimacing dark grey in contrast to the dark white they had last night. It appeared that the blizzard turned into a thunderstorm blizzard. As he thought this, he heard a huge crack of lighting seemingly not even a mile from the house, as it probably just decimated a large Socratea type tree in the area. It even made his steeled self flinch a bit, but it prompted Neptune to suddenly rise from slumber and sit up and look around expectantly. Drake was awake so he looked at her and made eye contact. She laid back down next to him and put her fluffy arm over his fluffy outfit into a fluffy embrace, as he was laid flat still staring outside. 

The sound of snow violently trying to bust in through the window subtly filled the supposedly soundproof room, which apparently didn’t have soundproof glass. Drake said to Neptune, “Why are you still transformed?”

“Huh? It seems I still am. Wait, it’s Christmas right? I overheard a rumor from Histoire that CPUs are locked in a transformed state for the entire Christmas day.”  
“That sounds like a loooooad of baaaarnacles.”  
“Well I don’t mind, since you like this body of mine don’t you?”  
“That’s an understatement, but of course I love the Neptune herself as well.”  
“That’s reassuring… I was worried you would only like me like this.” She said as she put her face into his cheek so she could effectively snuggle and give him kisses.  
“I suppose I could get used to this either way,” he said, welcoming the flurry of godly kisses on his blush center.  
“Hey, are we… going steady now?” He asked, blushing a bit for once.  
“D-do you want to?”  
“Of course I want to, but you’re a CPU aren’t you? I’m not immortal, only almost.”  
“Well then I’ll just go back to being only me!” She said happily.  
“What!?”  
“I became like this from this CPU Stone thing right? I made sure there was a way to go back to normal before I did, since I never intended to become one on my dimension hopping travels. Besides, I’ve been one long enough, and I can fight well without the help of the transformation. This isn’t to say I’ll abandon Planeptune, I’ve become far too attached, but I’ll just stop being a CPU. The other Neptune can be their CPU, or Plutia, or etcetera, and I’ll help them out as I’ve been doing. It’s either that or we find a way to make you a CPU.”  
“Are you fine with doing that!?” He asked, alarmed if his acts have shifted her to stop being a CPU for him.  
“Sure! It’s been on my mind a bit, and this is the perfect chance!”  
“But you seem so well fit into the role of Purple Heart and a CPU.”  
“That’s because I’m Purple Heart right now, and I said I’m not abandoning Planeptune you know.”  
“I suppose that’s a fine compromise,” he said, more at ease. “So… what exactly is the process?”  
“I’m not telling~.” She said, hugging him tighter.

They laid like that, cuddling for as long as they pleased in that cuddly bed and those cuddly clothes with the cuddly tremor of snow and lightning waging war on the mansion, as it seems they’ve found their own little Christmas miracle.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it boys...I love you all! Most of you, no homo. What did you think? Did I write too much? Was I too descriptive? Were there plot holes? Tell me EVERYTHING. I hope I portrayed their characters well enough. I have no idea what to write next, but I might be taking a break from any sexual hype writing unless someone reaaaally wants it, not to say that if I write like a story or adventure type thing there won't be any sex in it- sex is great to write, dude. Anyway, that's all; I've no idea even remotely what I will do next, but there will probably be something. I only post finished works, as I have a habit of going back to previous things multiple times to change little bits.


End file.
